Thursday, August 9, 2012

"Huzzah!" The 10 Things I'd Like To See In The New Arrested Development Season and Movie

Bluths then...

     After years of speculation, false starts and seemingly near-empty promises, on-set photos via Twitter confirm that the fourth season of Arrested Development (and a follow-up movie) is actually a reality. Slated for release in 2013 exclusively on Netflix, each episode will reportedly focus on each of the show's major characters, culminating in the motion picture.

...and now!

     As one of many fans of the exploits of the horrid and hilarious Bluth clan, there are about a kajillion in-jokes and recurring themes I'd love to see re-incorporated and/or slyly inserted back into both the new season and the film (ex. "I've made a huge mistake," "Her...?," "C'mon!", etc.) Below are the top 10:

1. The Bluth Company Stair Car: A character unto itself, the Bluth Company Stair Car deserves to go out in a blaze of glory, like the starship Enterprise every time they blow it up in the motion pictures. Oh, and watch out for hop ons! You will get some hop ons.

Tied with...

1. Bleeps: One of the absolute best things about Arrested Development is the creative manner in which the show got its hilariously profane humor past the censors. When actual profanity was called for, however, a character would hide their mouths behind an object while the objectionable word(s) were bleeped out. Never has the bleep been more masterfully deployed than it was in the episode where Buster gives as good as he gets. One more thing: have you ever seen a feature film in which the bleep has ever been used as recurring gag? Think about it.

2. Ice: You can put you problems on Ice, but you can't have a party without him. Just remember, you're not his friend, you're his client.

3. Potential New Chicken Dances: We have yet to see Maeby, George Micheal or Tobias's interpretation of the chicken dance. Just close your eyes and let your imagination go wild! "Cluck-a, cluck-a, cluck-a, ahhhhhhhhh...!"

4. Franklin Delano Bluth: You're his bro, not his brother. And I can still see your lips moving.

5. Kitty Sanchez: She of the the surgically crooked breasts, as played by the funny, talented and easy-on-the-eyes Judy Greer. "Spring Break! Woo!!!"

6. The Hot Cops: They clean up the town. They shovel coal. They pose as friends at bachelor parties and company meetings announcing new CEOs. Heck, they even deliver pot. Hot. Cops. Hot!

7. Steve Holt: GOB's son, and the other cousin Maeby had pop-pop for, Steve Holt is possibly the most considerate character (after Michael, of course) on the show. He found God during his 4th senior year of high school, helped his Uncle Mike train for the father-son triathlon and he always announces his presence wherever he goes. "STEVE HOLT!"

8. More Original Music: "Big Yellow Joint." "Balls In the Air." "Yellow Boat." "Discipline Daddy." These are songs that define(d) a generation. Here's hoping the movie soundtrack features these timeless ditties and many more new ones.

9. More Of Tobias's Fruedian Slip-Ups: "I'm afraid I just blue myself." "Tobias. You blow hard!" "Hot sea..." "It's pronounced 'analrapist.'" You get the idea.

10. Carl Weathers: No supporting character on Arrested Development will ever equal the heights of hilariousness Carl Weathers managed playing the jovial tightwad with a reassuring smile. Whether it's knowing the loopholes in airline seat-bumping, the best cars to buy at police auction or how to make a stew without touching your per diem, Weather's Hollywood survival tips are inspired; his portrayal of himself as down-n-out actor surviving by thrifting and mooching his way into the Bluth's sorted and pathetic lives is simply genius. (I wish Carl Weathers was my dad.)