Sunday, February 26, 2012

Fun with Phishing Scams: Episode Uno

"Why kant Tori spel.....? LOL

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this 
dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. 
Well, I'd consider getting a Macbook. Spendy, by well worth it. 
anyways how u been?  
I'm fine... Who is this?!? 
In case u dont know who this is its ME PAIGE.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u 
deleted me :( haha.. 
Well your spelling and syntax is abysmal. Can you really blame me?  
anyways guess what... 
Oh, boy! What...? 
I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months 
ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol... 
1) Huh? 2) How do you know where I live!?!
ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..I 
remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally can 
I hope you're cool with my irritable bowl syndrome. 
im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i 
get there.. maybe even help me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was soo confused...
You're not the only one...  
anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and take me out so u better be around bebe...
Or what? Are you threatening me, Paige?
we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u better when i 
was single....... well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and  love to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, 
movies etc.. travel.. .
Really? Because I'm 43, a "Leo" (whatever that means), and love to stay indoors watching Star
Trek reruns until I fall asleep on the couch, a Hot Pocket in one hand, an Xbox controller in the 
other. Also, I believe proper oral hygiene is a mere suggestion.
uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but every gurl is they just wont admit it.  so ilove watching p0rn and all 
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who  doesnt... i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent 
married yet lol.. 
This is a sore subject for me, since I've never known the touch of a woman... Thanks for 
drudging up that little factoid, jerkstore! 
OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there.. do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? i 
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out meeting people.. 
Wait! Now I'm your Girl Friday all of a sudden? What is this crap? 
oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get 
all weirded out on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat with people and 
get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? 
No. That sound horrible and depressing. 
I KNOW.. anyways i hope u  dont look down on that and NO THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING 
U RELAX URSELF lol...  i actually need help once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching  
 out.... ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im hopign this time i can hit SEND 
before i run into trouble lol..
Okay, seriously, what language is this...?
ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each of us 3 VIP codes to give out to 
whoever we want.. so with this code u can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like 
everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT 
give it out to anyone else and u ONLY USE IT FOR URSELF... 
Lady, I'm posting your little screed on my blog for the entire world to see. And by "lady," 
of course I mean "40 year-old hairy-backed dude." 
i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... 
Ah huh... 
i figured u cud always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me login half the time.. 
so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room... if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them 
"Scqwably gobbly goop" back at ya! Next time, try reading out loud what you've written. 
You're in for a very eye-opening experience.
Pfft! "Trust." Just one of your many, many flaws, Paige. 
im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move.. anyways ive rambled on and on now 
and ur probably soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. 
No, please. Regale me with more of your Internet porn-troll insights, please. I can't get 
enough of what basically amounts to this train wreck of entertainment. 
im gonna go start work.. i really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my stress 
about the move... REALLY i mean that....
Your Dad/Step Dad/Mom's boyfriend/older brother really did a number on you.
REALLY, I mean that! 
anyways once i see u in insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont wanna come 
chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it 
once i get there after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. 
Honestly, connecting to the Internet isn't even half as difficult as you're making it out to be.  
Get your act together, "lady"! 
but im hopign to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im gonna give u.. just 
WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...
Yikes...! Somehow you've managed to make the latter sound more painful.
k babe im out for now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo PAIGE  FREE VIP BYPASS LINK...
See you tomorrow when you send me that exact same poorly-worded email solicitation 
you've been sending me for weeks now! 

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Alien Workshop's "Memory Screen" (c. 1991)

Alien Workshop's Memory Screen wasn't just another skateboard video; it was (and still is) a work of art. Released in 1991, this groundbreaking video opened the door to the transcendent "arty" skateboard video genre (ex. Stereo's Tincan Folklore and Foundation's Artbars: Subtitles and Seagulls), and featuring the stellar talents of Rod Dyrdek, Duane Pitre, Scott Conklin, Steve Claar, etc. between halcyon images of seagulls flying, old men ambling along and stop motion vignettes. Released the same year the "Citizen Kane of skateboarding" (Blind's Spike Jones-directed Video Days) came out, Memory Screen was a cut-n-paste video collage from the mind of Neil Blender (who else?) of grainy Super 8, video-on-video, and found images set to a soundtrack of Dinosaur Jr, Pain Teens, Blender's band, Toxic Death Sentence (one of the best band names in indie-rock history, by the way), and found-sound recordings. To this day, Memory Screen remains one of my absolute favorite films of all time.

"Ain't Life Grand"