Fiver - Episode IX: The Muppets Make Manhattans

     Lately I've been feeling nostalgic for those things of yore that brought me the most joy. I suppose we all do as we get older (which reminds me: if you're one of those people who bemoans their age, please, just stop! You're bumming us all out.) Recently, my nostalgia has turned to those times when I used to wile away the day skateboarding, hanging out with my friends and listening to Operation Ivy tapes until they wore out. Good times.

     Good...

     ...times.

     Of course I doubt I could do even a fraction of the tricks I was able to barely do back when I was younger, skinnier and less responsibility-having. Not that this is an excuse not to simply roam around the neighborhood on the ol' stuntwood, but a competent ollie or no-comply here or there would be fun. Carving the shit out of an embankment just isn't enough, ya know?

     It helps (or hurts, depending on how you look at it) that we seem to be living in a time of constant nostalgia. Everything old is literally new again. This, of course, applies double to skateboarding. Once dominate skateboard brands such as Powell Peralta, Santa Cruz and Vision "reissue" more throwback decks that a man-child can throw a mid-life crisis at. We're talking old board shapes with old graphics with old pro's names on 'em coming out of the mill as if they'll never go out of style (and at this rate, it doesn't appear they will, like, ever).

      One retro trend in skateboard that I am enjoying, however, is the return of what I call the "popsicle precursor" shape. Around 1989 thereabouts, this board shape made specifically for street skating emerged. I'm not sure exactly who originated this shape, but I want to say it was Mark Gonzales (why not?) and his so-called "Gonz and Roses" deck from Vision Skateboards. This shape then evolved more-so over at the fledgling World Industries camp with Jesse Martinez's "Jailed Rock-Em Sock-Em Robot" board, which Jeremy Klein and Chris "Dune" Pastras seemingly used as the template for their signature boards.

     Today there are a slew of these pre-pop resurgence decks. Matt Hensley currently has one for Black Label, though I prefer the "Icon" board from 2011 instead (if for no other reason, the John Lucero-drawn re-pro graphics are fuckin' brilliant). Antihero has the "Skate Ski," while Mike Vallely's Elephant Brand has "The Rogue." Toy Machine, however, has a deck I'm considering getting: the "Monster XL Cruiser."

     Hmm... One of those two decks below with some Indys and Spitfire "Classics" slapped on 'em. Slip my Hobbit feet into a pair of scissored-down and duct-tape-and-stickered Airwalk "Enigmas," and shit: it's the late 80's/early '90's all over again! See? Old is new again!

     So, at this point: Oy vey! Is there anything worse that someone talking about skateboards (as opposed to actually riding them)? Oh, look: here's some pontifications about some new songs...

1. Twin Peaks "Stand In the Sand" (mp3)

From the album Sunken (2013, Autumn Tone)

     Honestly, it was about time someone named their band Twin Peaks. Why did it take this long? And if these young turks (the average age range for the members of this band is 19) get any flack for naming their band after David Lynch's seminal boob-tube cult classic, this Chicago band can say they're named after the neighborhood in San Francisco. Boo-ya!

2. White Fence "Pink Gorilla" (via Soundcloud)

From the album Cyclops Reap (2013, Castle Face)

     Of course White Fence is on John Dwyer's Castle Face record label. From the opening jangling buzz saw guitar riffs to Tim Presley's Gene Clark-esque vocal coo, White Fence sounds tailor made to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with The Oh Sees, Bare Wires and Fresh & Onlys. Cyclops Reap collects the odds-n-sods that didn't make any of the four records White Fence put out last year. If the song above is any indication, Presley's table scraps could easily make a lesser band's career.

3. Julia Brown "Library" (via Soundcloud)

From the album To Be Close To You (2013, Birdtapes)

     This band hails from somewhere in Maryland. When I think of Maryland, naturally I think of Baltimore, which is a fantastically gnarly town best known for John Waters, The Wire and Edgar Allen Poe. That the band Julia Brown was, until recently, called Teen Suicide kinda fits that pigeon-holed metric, but then you listen to their gentle and warm lo-fi twee-pop orchestrations and all preconceived notions of what a band from Maryland should sound like go right out the window.

4. Guided By Voices "Flunky Minnows" (mp3)

From the album English Little League (2013, GBV, Inc.)

     C'mon! It's Guided By Voices. Of course they're gonna be on here. Not only do they release a shit ton of songs (which is nothing new for this band, and all the better since the original line up reunited), but GBV are also one of my absolute, all-time favorite bands. So, of course I'm going to shove 'em down your throat. Open wide!

5. No Joy "Hare Tarot Lies" (via Soundcloud)

From the album Wait To Pleasure (2013, Mexican Summer)

     Of all the alt-rock genres out there, I think shoegaze has aged the best. At the point when this dreamy chill-pop genre was about to explode in the early 1990's, grunge came along and stole shoegaze's thunder. British bands rebelled against grunge the best way they could, by going stuffy with Britpop (Oasis, Blur, Pulp, etc.) Even those old shoegaze bands like Lush, Ride and Boo Radleys went the bespoke route. Meanwhile, here in the States, a slew of underground bands started reviving the shoegaze brand, and the genre's been floating along ever since. No Joy is one such band, and they do "the scene that celebrates itself" proud with this gauzy and spacial bit of dreampop. How does it feel to feel? Um, like this song, actually.

Daily Essentials, Part 1: The Stuff of How I Get By

We all have every day essentials we absolutely cannot live without. You know, those items that, if went missing or forgotten, would wreak havoc on how one would be able (or, sadly, unable) to conduct their day-to-day business of self.

This lowly blogger is no different from you in that department (I put my pants on the exact same way everyone else does: with the assistance of two handmaids and an industrial hydraulic winching system). Below are some items I simply could not live my life without, followed by an exhaustive and enthralling explanation of each.

A. Timex Weekender Indiglow Watch I've wanted a white-face wristwatch for the longest time, but didn't really have the ducets for a vintage Rolex or Logines of comparable quality, so I opted for this $35 Timex version instead. Takes a licking, keeps on ticking and lights up in the dark!

B. Keys Besides having the key to my car, my wife's backup car key and an anodized black house key, my key ring also features a bottle opener from Powell's Books, which is absolutely essential to any party situations/alcoholism situation.

C. Thin Bill Fold Wallet Bulky-ass wallets are cut. Thin, bill-fold wallets that carry the essentials (cash, cards and I.D.) are where its at. Your ass cheek(s) will thank me later.

D. iPhone 4 Until the iPhone 5S comes out, my trusty 4 model will get me through. Suck it, Siri!

E. iPod Nano 8g I'm not sure what version iPod Nano this is. My wife got it for me a few holidays back (automatic sentimental value, right there), and it still works great for jogging and car trips. Currently it's loaded to capacity with Guided By Voices, Parquet Courts, The Caretaker, Dinosaur Jr, and Lilys.

F. Macbook Pro Couldn't live without this baby. Whether it's writing articles, reviews and screenplays, making mixtapes or watching Archer in bed, this laptop is absolutely essential to my daily routine. "Cult of Mac"? Oh, hell yeah! And proudly.

G. Mexican Coca-Cola If there is one thing I'm absolutely 100% addicted to, it's Mexican Coke ...a-Cola. Made in Mexico  with pure cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup (so, you know, more healthier!), Mexican Coke-Cola just tastes better. The corner store on my block sells the slightly larger "Medio Litro" version, which I'm assuming is Spanish for "Medical Grade," no?

H. Sharpie Red Fine Point Marker For copy editing, of which my wife is far, far, far superior at than I am.

I. Sharpie Standard Black Marker Essential, pretty much. I mean, duh!

J. Titanium Wedding Band Allergic to gold, white gold and platinum like I am? Silver just not cutting it? Why not go surgical grade titanium and tell people (when they ask, of course) that your wedding band is made from adamantium. Hilarity eventually ensues.

K. You Are Pretty Handsome Boutineer/Lapel Flower Pin My friends Skylar and Jairus custom make each of these decorative and amazing lapel pins by hand (mine features a crown, since I'm a total narcissist). For those times when a suit or sports coat is required, I usually pop one of these on and get, "Cool pin. Where did you get it?" Ah, attention.

L. Standard Deck of Bicycle Brand Eco Cards Whenever we go out to eat, my wife and I usually bring a deck of cards with us and commence with a round or five of the card game Speed. We've altered this game slightly by making the Jokers and standard issue info cards into wild cards al a Uno. Competition can get heated, and the loser is known to "throw jaggers" while the winner celebrates by proclaiming "Eat at Joe's!" Yes, we're lucky to have found one another.

M. Brushed Silver Zippo Lighter I don't smoke anymore (I was pretty much take it or leave it with the coffin nails, anyway - more a luxury than a compulsion, and a seriously stupid habit), but I keep this lil' fella handy just in case fire is needed for candles, other people's cigarettes lighting needs or Frankenstein's monster run-in's. Fire good!

N. Vintage Art Deco Cigarette Case This silver 1920's cigarette case used to exclusively carry Lucky Strikes, but now it houses my vast array of credit cards, gift cards and grocery store rewards cards. What can I say? I'm a baller.

O. TDK Certified Plus Blank CD-Rs I'm "old school" in the modern sense that I still enjoy making mix CDs. Putting together a play list, editing it to fit on an 80 minute disc, making the cover art (hand-drawn or collage) is something posting my mixes online can never duplicate. I love these TDK blank CD-Rs simply because of their blank silver tops free of any and all corporate branding screened on to 'em.

P. Knog Bicycle Lights Because I'm not an idiot and don't want to die in the dark while riding my bike.

Q. Pottery Barn Leather-Bound Flask I purchased this flask years ago, and it still comes in handy today. Be it a tweed ride (for which I have an Ahern flask cage mounted to my bike) or a Mormon wedding, this pocket-ready flask filled with Grey Goose vodka and a cold class of Jamaican Ginger Beer is all I need to have a good great time anywhere.

R. Black Moleskin Drawing Book When an idea for a painting or a new shoe design comes to me, this little Moleskin notebook is always readily at hand. It's hard to explain exactly, but I just feel like more of a gentleman using one of these notebooks. 

S. Vintage Paperback of Herman Hesse's Steppenwolf Besides being my absolute favorite novel of all time, I simple love the tactile experience of having this well-worn 1960's version of Herman Hesse's classic on my bookshelf. The cover is creased, the paper is yellowed and it has that wonderful old book smell, which is one the best scents in the known world next to newborns and gasoline.

T. Kleen Kanteen 18oz Stainless Steel Water Bottle with Stainless Unibody Bamboo Cap You can drink water, or You Can Drink Water. I choose to do so in style with this stubby, ecologically sound Kleen Kanteen water bottle with a Stainless Unibody Bamboo cap. This set-up keeps my water cool, debris free and fits my bicycles water cage perfectly. Essential, if for anything else, it houses water (you know, the fluid a human body requires the most).

U. My Bike I love, love, LOVE my bike! It's been through many permutations (first powdercoated silver, then re-powdercoated pearl black), and has always remained my favorite (and preferred) mode of transportation. It's a 58cm fixed gear road bike conversion with a 46t-16t drivetrain. The frame was hand-built sometime in the 1970's, as evidenced by both its braze-ons and side-by-side bottle cage mounts. I had the drop-outs swapped for track ends three years ago, and have gone through a series of set-up alterations until ultimately settling on a more comfortable up-right riding posture. This bike features a Brooks B67 saddle, Velo Orange Montmartre handlebars with Brooks Plump Leather Grips, a Nitto Technomics stem and a Chis King headset, IRD Defiant cranks with a Phil Wood bottom bracket and MKS Sylvan pedals, Velocity 700c Deep V rims with Phil Wood hubs and Dia Compe Gran Compe Eno Cilio tires, a vintage SunTour front brake, and a Crane Ritan brass bell. Riding my bike is one of the best feelings in the world, and doing so frees me from any and all daily stresses and anxieties. I also love tinkering and tweaking my bike from time to time, or getting out the tools and fine-tuning what there is to wrench-on (which isn't much, since it's a fairly simple and spartan set-up). This simple little machine makes me feel good, and that is invaluable.

Captain, My Captain: Remebering Roger Ebert

I always made time for Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. It didn't matter how good the day's campaign in G.I. Joe game play was going, every Sunday evening was reserved these opposing film critics from Chicago, Illinois. Even as a youngster in the early 1980's, I'd shun interaction with my peers just to watch to two grown men with Mid-Western accents pontificate and (more often than not) argue about motion pictures.

I grew up in a single parent home. We were poor, and going out to see movies was a luxury my Mom could rarely afford. The best we could do for cinematic entertainment was watching third run movies through the static of the the local UHF television station. Siskel and Ebert were my window into the world of modern cinema.

Watching At the Movies was as near to a religious ritual as I would get on Sundays. If you were to ask the 8 year-old me what it was that I loved about watching this program, I don't know if I would have the wherewithal to concisely say why beyond enjoying watching the clip reels included with Siskel and Ebert's reviews. On a deeper level, though, I enjoyed the discussions between these two newspapermen (Siskel of the Chicago Tribune, and Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times).

As I got older, I came to understand exactly why I loved watching Siskel and Ebert's reviews. These were two intelligent men who loved movies. They would often hate movies, too, and sometimes not the same ones. And this is where their opinions would flair, inciting unscripted, off-the-cuff discussions. That was the magic of this show; the genuine (and at times) heated debates on the merits of film, storytelling and art. We, the audience were engaged because Siskel and Ebert were engaged. 

Neither critic were shy about speaking truth to power, either. If they felt the motion picture industry were cynically targeting and exploiting a certain demographic (like, say, the Friday the 13th franchise), they'd say so on the air. Siskel and Ebert's words carried weight, something their imitators never could.

What got me the most in those formative years, however, was the idea that people got paid to not only watch movies, but that they also got to go on TV and rant or rave about them (Roger Ebert was the first film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize for Criticism in 1975). Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert are my first (and still very much primary) influence for going into writing.

After Gene Siskel's death in 1999, Roger Ebert continued to review films on the air with Richard Roeper. After his health started to decline due to thyroid cancer, Ebert eventually "retired" from his on-air duties, but maintained a presence in the review sections of the Chicago Sun Times. Ebert's cancer would eventually claim his jaw, depriving Ebert of those things he loved to do most in life the most: speaking and eating.

But the cancer could not quiet Roger Ebert's voice. He would continue to review films and write books in that inclusive, welcoming and often times humorous writing style of his. He became a force, branding himself anew through his website, blog and twitter accounts. I even followed Roger Ebert on Facebook, where his asides and observations always seemed to make the gloomiest days seem brighter.

In this way, Roger Ebert inspired me for a second time. Here is a man who has lost his ability to speak; to say his words aloud. He could have wallowed with the hand life had dealt him, but instead Roger Ebert, with the aid and support of his loving wife, Chaz Ebert, mounted a phoenix-from-the-ashed relaunch of himself. Here he was, more prodigious than ever. His speaking voice then became a text-to-voice computer assistant and the Internet became his outlet; his sounding board. 

Even when it was recommended he not, Ebert posed for pictures; his jawline now slung low, but his eyes peering back at the viewer with warmth and optimism. It was a triumph. Roger Ebert wouldn't allow cancer to claim his soul.

Roger Ebert meant a lot to me. He was an accomplished reporter and writer who loved the cinema, traveling abroad, living in Chicago, and being surrounded by his friends and family. His words carried weight, and more than a couple of times he saved several hours of my life from watching bad movies (though the review in his book Your Movie Sucks of Battlefield Earth made watching that film too much of a so-bad-it's-good movie-watching experience). Along with Gene Siskel, Roger Ebert defined the face of film review. It went beyond the simple "thumbs up/down" gesture that became their signature for rating movies. They encouraged America to discuss and have opinions about movies, whether you agreed with their assessments or not. The way we look at film in this country owes a debt to these two.

Roger Ebert is someone I hold in the highest of esteem. A big regret in my life is never having had met the man to tell him how much he and Gene Siskel inspired me to write, review and debate not just movies, but life in general. I'm sad to see Roger Ebert pass from this mortal coil, but I will always remember the impact he had in it. 

Rest In Peace, Mr. Ebert. The balcony is closed.

Roger Ebert

6/18/42 - 4/4/2013

Oh, Portland, My Portland!

One of the many reasons I L-O-V-E Portland, Oregon: Stuff!

Speaking of kool craft culture from the City of Rip, venerable micro-publisher Reading Frenzy was forced to vacate their home of 17 years, effectively closing the keeper of all things zine's doors. Unable to secure a new spot, the folks at Reading Frenzy weighed their options and decided launched a KickStarter campaign to get back on their feet again.

The former Reading Frenzy storefront on Oak Street. *Sigh*

As a zinester myself, I'd be remiss in my duties not to encourage you to fund and support Reading Frenzy's relaunch. Why should you care if this small batch publishing house reopens their doors? The reasons are many, but here are three:

1. Reading Frenzy publishes DIY zines and books by many worthwhile underground scribes and artists, giving a platform to creative folks who might otherwise not have one.

2. Without outlets like Reading Frenzy, we'd be left with milquetoast publications like Star, US and O. Is that really the world you want to live in?

3. You'd be contributing to something great: zine culture! Seriously, what's better than homemade publications? Nothing, that's what!

Go to Reading Frenzy's website for updates on their KickStarter campaign.. While you're there, check-out (and purchase!) some of their spectacular reads, such as Crap Hound, PDX By Bike and DIY Magic (to name but a few).

Support Your Local Distributor!

Fiver - Episode VIII: Die Harder With A Vengence Or Live Free

     "Hey!" she said in a raspy whine that reeked of opportunistic malt liquor and resigned desperation. "Can you turn the air on?" Never mind the customers standing in line to purchase their yum-yums and be-fizzed syrup slurp. No. Just poke every grey hair on top of that shrivelled-up white prune you call a head and interrupt the process. No problem.

     "The air. Can you...?" You know, just to clarify.

     "Yeah, yeah," said the guy behind the bunker of cigarettes and Lottery tickets.

     Maybe it was because he was too busy scanning my sugar and salt encrusted goodies. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he didn't want to acknowledge her indigent statues. Whatever the case, he didn't look her in the eyes to answer back. He just exhaled soft words, one after the next: "Yeah, yeah."

     "Can you turn on the air?" Again, then: "Don't you speak any English? Air! On! Thank you." And she walked back to the air machine where her overloaded mountain-robbed of any dignity and glory it once ever had-laying on its side like a wounded animal.

     "Jeeeeezus," the guy behind me leaked-out in a fragrantly foul hybrid of disgust and disbelief. 

    "YEAH, AND BETTER THAN YOU!" yelled the man behind the counter to the woman's back. She either didn't hear him or chose to ignore his perfect dialect. He then reaches over and flicks a switch with a piece of paper crudely taped to it: "AIR."

     Right then and there, struggling with my French homework shamed me to no end.

Widowspeak "The Dark Age" (Soundcloud link)

From the album Almanac (2013, Captured Tracks)

     Fleetwood Mac's looking pretty good these days! If this album cover is any indication, they haven't aged a day in the 10 kagillion decades they've been making music and screwing each other over. This song is uncharacteristically catchy, too! Huzzah!

Rhye "The Fall" (Soundcloud link)

From the album Woman (2013, Polydor Ltd.)

     I love this recent spate of "albums indie kids can fuck to." First there was Weeknd, then a couple Weeknd clones, and now these guys. Rhye are like indie-rock's Sade (and that's a compliment, by the way. Just ask any white guy in his late 30's and early 40's!)

Dog Bite "Prettiest Pill" (Soundcloud link)

From the album Velvet Changes (2013, Carpark)

     It's great to see bands preserving the shoegaze mantle in the well-worn wakes of seminal bands that started the genre. The last thing you need is one of those legendary bands coming back to reclaim that mantle. Oh, shit...

My Bloody Valentine "New You" (via YouTube)

From the album m b v (2013, self-released)

     It's been 22 years since.... yadda, yadda, yadda! We get it. This record came out waaayyy beyond it's intended release date. Understood! Now can we all just shut up and actually listen to this thing? It took 22 years to make after all.

The Oh Sees "Minotaur" (mp3)

From the album Floating Coffin (2013, Castle Face)

     I smell Best New Music and Worst Album Covers of the Year placements (respectively) on Pitchfork for this album! Ah, to be a taste maker.

RSA DIY: Build Your Own My Bloody Valentine B-Sides And Rarities Collection!

Miami Bloody Vicentine?!? Bootleg MBV rarities collections, am a I right?

     It's been about 22 days since I reviewed My Bloody Valentine's m b v (their first studio record in nearly 22 records, if ya didn't know), and I seriously can't stop listening to this thing. It's almost as if with each new pass of this record--which averages a four-to-five-play rotation schedule here at The Rocket Science Alliance World Headquarters--reveals some new aural tidbit and sonic pathway. My Bloody Valentine's latest is seemingly more dense and chock-a-block than an episode of Arrested Development, with repeat exposure reaping new found audio rewards. 

     (Just so we're clear, this record has not become an addiction. I'm fully in control. No, honestly; I can quit anytime I want. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hit "play" on my iTunes and take another hit... er, listen to this record. What? I can quit anytime I want!)

     This record has, however, inspired me to revisit a My Bloody Valentine rarities and unreleased collection I made for myself a couple of years ago. As a record collector and admitted OCD-having human being, my predilection to collect every bit of audio ephemera from bands I love and cherish knows no bounds. My Bloody Valentine, of course being near the top of my listening pleasure apex, is very much a part of that obsession. So much so in fact , that I've collected every  single studio proper recording My Bloody Valentine has released in the Isn't Anything/Loveless era (I don't go in for that sketchy live recording bootleg bullshit, mostly because I don't believe in listening to second hand live music experience).

     In compiling all of this music, I found that the band recorded enough extracurricular material to fill a 2CD set. In 2012, they actually did just that, releasing (well, in Europe, anyway) a compilation titled EPs 1988-1991. Head Valentine Kevin Shields went back into the studio to not only polish-up and remaster this odds-n-sods on this collection (which included several rarities that had previously only managed to find themselves in dodgy mp3 form on the Internet), but both Isn't Anything and Loveless, as well.

     Listening to this EPs compilation, however, I found that it was missing several non-album tracks that, over the years, I've considered quite essential to this band's catalogue. So I dusted-off the collection I originally made, added those songs from Shield's rarities compilation and went to town. Below is my 2CD, quasi-double album My Bloody Valentine EP and rarities collection, titled Temolo Glider/Sugar Glider (Sony Records execs: If, god forbid, you're reading this blog entry, please consider putting this My Bloody Valentine collection out here in The States--do something good before the inevitable end of your dominance comes to a nadir):

tremolo glider

1. you made me realise

2. slow

3. thorn

4. cigarette in your bed

5. drive it all over me

6. i believe

7. emptiness inside

8. i need no trust

9. soon

10. glider

11. don’t ask why

12. off your face

13. to here knows when

14. swallow

15. honey power

16. moon song

sugar glider

1. how do you do it

2. good for you

3. just like us

4. incidental one (feat. mark eitzel)

5. instrumental a

6. angel

7. Incidental peace (feat. skylab)

8. map ref. 41°n 93°w

9. instrumental b

10. we have all the time in the world

11. sugar

12. glider (full length version)

13. soon (andrew weatherall remix)

     So, right about now, I bet you're thinking, "I wish I had this collection of My Bloody Valentine rarities all in one easily accessible compilation!" or "I'm not really a fan of this band's music, per se. But I am an American, and I always want what I cant have!" Well, I'm going to show you how to easily compile this collection of My Bloody Valentine rarities for your very own listening pleasure. All you have to do is simply follow the directions I've outlined below:

1. First, you're going to need to go back in time (don't fret--it's easier than you think) and get a job in Tower Records' shipping an receiving department. When you open a box marked "Import Singles," grab all of the My Bloody Valentine recordings you find (there are four discs in all: The "Feed Me With Your Kiss" single, as well as the You Made Me Realise, Glider and Tremolo EPs). Now, come back to the present. These EPs form the entirety of the Tremolo Glider disc.

2. Via eBay or Discogs (or a record-selling site you know and love), purchase the following compilations: Whore: A Tribute To Wire ($15 on eBay), Peace Together (found in a bargain bin at Amoeba Records in Berkeley, California for $5) and Offbeat: A Red Hot Soundtrip ($.98 from Amazon--AIDS benefit compilations were HUGE in the 90's, apparently). These compilations feature Sugar Glider's songs "Map Ref. 41°N 93°W," "We Have All the Time In The World," and "Incidental One" and "Incidental Peace."

3. Again, via eBay, Discogs or (assuming your town still has one) your local record shop's import section, purchase the EPs 1988-1991 compilation. It'll set you back an estimated $20, but it's worth it to get the remastered versions of "How Do You Do It," "Good For You," "Just Like Us," "Angel," "Sugar, both "Instrumental A" and "Instrumental B," and the extended ear-bending version of "Glider." (You know what? Since EPs 1988-1991 comes with all of the songs for Tremolo Glider, just skip Step 1 up there. My bad.)

4. Then, go on iTunes and download "Soon (Andrew Weatherall Remix)" from the JBO: A Retrospective - 1988-1991 single. This was originally the B-Side (or was it the A-Side? I forgot) to the extended version of "Glider." It's worth the $.99 download price alone just to feel those sweet Andrew Weatherall clipped-on beats that scream "THIS WAS TOTALLY MADE IN THE 1990's!"

5. Now find any My Bloody Valentine video on YouTube ("Soon" works the best, in my opinion) and start snapping pictures. One or two of the photos you take will become your compilation's cover(s). Or you can just right-click and download the covers above which I made using the method I was kind enough to share with you in the sentence before this one. It's your call.

6. Arrange these songs like I have above (or do it yourself. Whatever...), and viola! You now have your very own My Bloody Valentine EPs and rarities collection. Enjoy! Just remember not to capitalize any of the song titles!


'njoy!

My Bloody Valentine: 'Bout Bloody Time - The Legendary Band Finally Releases Their New Record!

My Bloody Valentine

m b v

self-released

www.mybloodyvalentine.org

9 out of 10

It's been what, 22 years since My Bloody Valentine released their seminal album, Loveless? Since 1991, there have been a myriad of promises from My Bloody Valentine's leader and consummate perfectionist, Kevin Shields, that a follow-up album was well on its way. 

As the years (and decades) passed, these promises slowly became punchlines to loyal, yet disappointed fans. In the interim, Wire and Louis Armstrong were covered, the band split-up, Shields scored a film between bouts of remixing other band's songs with his signature note-bending flair, the band reunited, Isn't Anything, Loveless and collection of EPs and rarities were remastered and released (well, in the UK, anyway), and promises of new material again began to surface directly from the MBV camp of not just a new album (partially containing previously shelved tracks), but a follow-up EP, as well--both of which were finally seeing the light of day at the end of 2012.

As the tail-end of last year faded into the ether, so to did any and all faint hopes that the new My Bloody Valentine record release would surface. As die hard fans, we've been here so, so many times; when the new record didn't materialize, it wasn't really a big surprise. I mean, sure, there was fleeting glimpses of hope, but of the shoulder-shrugging variety when Shield's follow-through proved empty ...again. 

(A YouTube clip featuring a live performance of a new song was a bit exciting, but, you know. I mean, you're a fan. You know. You've had your chain yanked by this band, like, a kajillion times by now.)

Then today happened. Saturday, February 2nd, 2013. The promises of studio tinkering, mastering, track listing, and getting everything sorted out were, well, actually true! Today, the world finally has a new My Bloody Valentine record. I know, I know. I can't believe it either, but here it is, wafting from my computer speakers as I type these words.

So, the verdict? Was this new record, simply titled after the band's initials, worth the 22 year wait? Well, yes and no, but mostly yes.

The moment word of this album's release started making the rounds online, I immediately Googled "My Bloody Valentine" to confirm that Shields and Co. had indeed pulled the trigger and surprised-attacked their fans with a new record. Jumping on the band's website I immediately downloaded the mp3 version of the record (with promises to myself to order a vinyl copy of the album as soon as I'm finished boring you here). I was at once elated, giddy and impatient as the transfer crawled across my computer's download box. What have you been working on all these years, Mr. Shields? I must know NOW!!!

As the crashing waves of opener "She Found Now" roll in, it becomes very clear that m b v is unmistakably and distinctly not Loveless 2.0. On first listen, m b v sounds more like a collection of songs than an wholly conceived album. Fortunately, the songs in this collection are absolutely brilliant. I think it's safe to say that if you're a fan of the soundscapes and tone-bending soft-focus textures this band is legendary for, you will definitely be transfixed by the nine songs here.

Where Loveless felt like a singularly conceived album proper from start to finish--featuring bridges and arcs between its 11 songs--m b v 's songs are islands unto themselves, with those "dusted-off" ditties rubbing distorted shoulders with newer compositions. Front-loaded with songs that move at a glacial pace, the second half of the album begins with the languid and bouncy "New You" then immediately shifts to a more guttural and angular territory with "In Another Way," "Nothing Is" and album closer "Wonder 2" (is that an actual jet plane fly-by noise I hear running through this song, or has Shields discovered yet another sustained note inconceivable by your average, every day guitar player?) This two-sided dichotomy gives m b v an almost two-albums-in-one feel.

That said, the ride provided here, albeit slightly disjointed, is so, so, so damned delicious. Shields is a perfectionist, and it shows over m b v 's nine songs. Every note, ever phase shift, every incomprehensible lyric sounds like they are all exactly where he wanted them placed. It's hard not to listen to the opening melodic salvo of "Only Tomorrow" and not get arosed. No, seriously; who wouldn't want to schtupp to this song as its beautifully-bent notes and melodies twist and weave like a phantom floating around one's synapses?

And what would a My Bloody Valentine record be with Bilinda Butcher's breathy and seductive contributions? "Is This and Yes" finds her breadcrumb vocals dotted between flashing pulsars and Music From the Hearts of Space-esque keyboard flourishes. On "If I Am," Butcher beckoning listeners down gossamer corridors Captured Tracks entire roster works tirelessly to perfect (Full Disclosure: this writer admires every single band over at Captured Tracks, and considers this record label to be one of the absolute best going today). In his full arsenal of studio sorcery and attention to sonic details only he can register, Kevin Shields' greatest arrow in My Bloody Valentine's quiver may just be Bilinda Butcher.

In no uncertain terms, m b v is a great record; an extremely welcome return. Was it worth the 22 year delay? Absolutely. Will it sate the appetite of die hard and casual fans of this band's music? No doubt. Those more passive ears looking for the shimmering A-Z cacophony of Loveless won't find it here (that album you can buy a remastered version of, if you haven't already managed to purchase a copy for the criminally bargain-binned price of $7.99). No, this record bears the initials of a band that's the brainchild of a man who slaved over it on-and-off for a little over two decades, and he's decided to branch-out his blissed-out sound structures ever so subtly. And that's a very good thing, indeed.

Here endeth those previous broken promises. Finally.